Frustrated...

I try to keep this blog somewhat upbeat. I try to look at everything with the glass half full, not empty, but tonight I'm not sure I can do that. To say we are all frustrated and tired and exhausted is an understatement.

I know I haven't been the best blogger this year. To be completely honest, I'm just out of words. It's like her life is a cycle of events. She goes to Birmingham on Monday, has treatment on Tuesday's, feels horrible until Sunday, then starts the process back over. Each week is like this.

We take two steps forward and 10 back it seems.

Her arm has been batteling infection for weeks now. Lymphodema and cellucitis Have attacked her left arm in full force. It's huge from the swelling and extremely red and hot to the touch. Besides all the pain that's coming from the tumor, she now has to deal with that.

Yesterday while at the Kirklin Clinic getting chemo, her oncologist ordered an ultrasound just to make sure there weren't any blood clots. Thank you Lord for no clots, just a serious case of the already confirmed lymphodema and cellucitis. Her oncologist thought maybe another round of different antibiotics would work.

Last night she was in lots of pain. The ultrasound aggravated the tumor and she was in so much discomfort that they had to stay an extra night in Birmingham. She was in extreme discomfort and didn't think she would be able to tolerate the card ride home.

Still in quite a but of pain, they decided to try and make it on home today. When they got to Troy, they decided to stop and let their family doctor check her arm out, because it was still so swollen, red, and irritated.

He put her in the hospital immediately and tonight is starting strong IV antibiotics.

We are very frustrated. Please pray for our family. Here is a pic I snapped before I left tonight. She is in ICU so no one could stay back there with her tonight. Knowing that she's in there, all alone, is almost too much for me to handle. Wish I would have gotten a better pic of her arm. She sure does hide her pain well.




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still going strong...

I know.  It's been forever since the last update.  Let's go back to where I left off...

Since the last post, she has had a scan, we celebrated Christmas and the holidays together, and she has made several trips to the poison plant.  

Scan Day:  These days take forever to get here!  We all have such high hopes and nervous energy that day, that it is hard to sit still in one place for very long.  The scan itself takes about an hour or so.  They aren't as painful as they used to be.  Drinking the dye before the scan is, by far, the worst part about it, according to her.  We are so thankful that she is not in pain during the scans.  She has come such a long way since this time last year.  We were excited to learn that the scan showed her cancer is still shrinking.  However, it was very minimal this time.  Only about a 2% decrease in size from last time.  We were hoping, praying, and expecting more shrinkage of the tumor, so it was a little disappointing and very frustrating for Mom.  We know His timing is perfect, and He has a perfect, awesome plan for her.  We are trusting and clinging to Him during this battle.

Christmas and the Holidays:  We are SO grateful to have had another wonderful holiday season of Jesus' birth together again! I remember the days leading up to Christmas last year.  The pleading with God to give her comfort and relief.  WOW!  How far he has taken her.  This Christmas meant so much to each of us, and definitely one for the books.

Poison Plant:  Week in and week out, that's where you will find her.  It's getting old.  The drive.  The soreness and the sickness that follows each treatment.  The waiting for hours and hours.  The complete lack of energy that lasts usually until the day before she gets another treatment.  Blah, blah, blah.  But we know it's working, so she's gotta keep on keepin' on.

Think that about sums it up.  Pictures to come!  Thank you for your prayers for her spirits to be lifted.

exactly...

This time last year, we were all gathered in Birmingham at the hospital, watching as mother lay there helpless and completely full of pain.  Dad and I were talking, and we can still remember what she was wearing the day she was admitted.  Off white pants, navy top, and an orange coat, adorned with her Auburn pins.  We were all excited about the national championship!  A simple biopsy gone terribly wrong.  She was in so much pain, the morphine pumping into her body wasn't even phasing the pain.  She had Christmas shopping to do, work at her office that needed to be done, and a Christmas lunch that had to be fixed and prepared.  All of that suddenly did not even matter.  She was admitted in the hospital exactly one year ago yesterday.  When Tullie and I got there, I remember the words that dad said to us, as we were walking down the halls to her room.

"Momma is in a lot of pain and is on a lot of medicine...morphine, and other drugs used in the war to help with solder's pain.  She is kind of out of it.  Ciara, don't let that scare you.  She has been in a significant amount of pain since yesterday.  She's hurting now."

We walked in and I can still remember that tiny room's set up.  The ugly green walls.  She was awake and was so glad to see us.  I was surprised she was awake, with all the medicines they were giving her, but she was.  We all sat there for a while talking about other stuff I can't really remember.

Then, dad told us the news, that broke our hearts into a million trillion pieces.  Her cancer was back.

Those first few days, filled with horrific pain, will always be something I will never forget.  I pray that no one has to ever experience anything ever like that.  I pray that she is now on the upside of her battle.  Her pain is significantly less than this time less year.  She has come so far!!  She goes for another scan the week after Christmas.  Please pray that her cancer is still continuing to shrink.  Thank you for your faithful prayers along this journey.

catching up...

think this is everything that has happened since my last post...

we are not your normal family...

thankful with got to be with family this thanksgiving...

Love you sweet ladies!

Happy to report there has been a huge change in her pain lately.  A good change.  She hasn't been having near as much pain in her arm lately!!  Praise God!!!!  She is still sleeping a lot and doesn't have any energy, but we can deal with that.  Seeing her cry and in pain is something we have a hard time dealing with.  We hope she continues to improve with each passing day.  She goes for another scan in a few weeks, and she said tonight, that she knows it has shrunk even more.  Praying that she is right.  

Thank you for your prayers!  I know He is working a miracle in her!

thankful and a birthday...

She was finally able to go home from the hospital on Monday.  Not the way she had planned on spending her off week from chemo, but nonetheless, she was feeling some better.

Today, she's back at it.  With a day full of double drug chemo, labs, and doctor visits, she's hoping to make it home in time tonight to give this birthday boy a hug and eat some cake...

Tomorrow as we get ready to celebrate Thanksgiving with our family, what a precious, new outlook on life we have.  This time last year, we didn't have the fears that we now have.  We didn't worry about pain levels or medicine or chemo trips or scans.  I hope you and your family have a wonderful day spent together thanking Him for his mercy and grace.

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."  Psalm 107:1

all hooked up...

Hey faithful followers!  Sorry for not posting any sooner.  Life has been crazy and busy and hectic.

Mom went to her regular family doctor here at home today to find out that she is dehydrated and has a sinus infection.   That's got her ears head all stopped up.  So tonight, she gets to have a slumber party at the hospital in Troy.  Here she is already hooked up and conked out.

Keep those prayers coming her way.  If it's not one thing, it's another.  She's got to hurry up and get better because she is going to be a GRANDMOTHER!!!  Tullie and Sami Jo are expecting a little blessing in June!  We She's very very excited to meet this little one.  Every stick, shot, cup full of medicine, treatment, and nauseousness has been followed by, "gotta do this for the baby." 

Keep the comments and words of encouragement up on the blog.  She loves reading each and every one. 

Love ya'll...be back tomorrow for another update!

cancer is a PAIN...

She has been in constant pain for years.  YEARS people.  She complained of her arm hurting long before she was re-diagnosed in December.  Constant pain.  So severe pain, that the strongest medicines only ease the pain.  Even on her "good" days, her pain level, at best, is a 3 or 4. 


She headed to Birmingham this week for her weekly dose of chemo.  She also had appointments with her pain doctors.  Here's a recap from dad from earlier this week...

 We are trying to set up an appointment with another pain team for the end of this week or next week when we go back for chemo.  Doctors are talking about doing injections, a spinal block, using pain patches, trying a different combination of drugs, or a combination of of the above. 


I can't imagine how she must feel.  Pray she gets relief soon.  They weren't able to get appointments this week, so it will be next week before anything is decided.