exactly...

This time last year, we were all gathered in Birmingham at the hospital, watching as mother lay there helpless and completely full of pain.  Dad and I were talking, and we can still remember what she was wearing the day she was admitted.  Off white pants, navy top, and an orange coat, adorned with her Auburn pins.  We were all excited about the national championship!  A simple biopsy gone terribly wrong.  She was in so much pain, the morphine pumping into her body wasn't even phasing the pain.  She had Christmas shopping to do, work at her office that needed to be done, and a Christmas lunch that had to be fixed and prepared.  All of that suddenly did not even matter.  She was admitted in the hospital exactly one year ago yesterday.  When Tullie and I got there, I remember the words that dad said to us, as we were walking down the halls to her room.

"Momma is in a lot of pain and is on a lot of medicine...morphine, and other drugs used in the war to help with solder's pain.  She is kind of out of it.  Ciara, don't let that scare you.  She has been in a significant amount of pain since yesterday.  She's hurting now."

We walked in and I can still remember that tiny room's set up.  The ugly green walls.  She was awake and was so glad to see us.  I was surprised she was awake, with all the medicines they were giving her, but she was.  We all sat there for a while talking about other stuff I can't really remember.

Then, dad told us the news, that broke our hearts into a million trillion pieces.  Her cancer was back.

Those first few days, filled with horrific pain, will always be something I will never forget.  I pray that no one has to ever experience anything ever like that.  I pray that she is now on the upside of her battle.  Her pain is significantly less than this time less year.  She has come so far!!  She goes for another scan the week after Christmas.  Please pray that her cancer is still continuing to shrink.  Thank you for your faithful prayers along this journey.

catching up...

think this is everything that has happened since my last post...

we are not your normal family...

thankful with got to be with family this thanksgiving...

Love you sweet ladies!

Happy to report there has been a huge change in her pain lately.  A good change.  She hasn't been having near as much pain in her arm lately!!  Praise God!!!!  She is still sleeping a lot and doesn't have any energy, but we can deal with that.  Seeing her cry and in pain is something we have a hard time dealing with.  We hope she continues to improve with each passing day.  She goes for another scan in a few weeks, and she said tonight, that she knows it has shrunk even more.  Praying that she is right.  

Thank you for your prayers!  I know He is working a miracle in her!

thankful and a birthday...

She was finally able to go home from the hospital on Monday.  Not the way she had planned on spending her off week from chemo, but nonetheless, she was feeling some better.

Today, she's back at it.  With a day full of double drug chemo, labs, and doctor visits, she's hoping to make it home in time tonight to give this birthday boy a hug and eat some cake...

Tomorrow as we get ready to celebrate Thanksgiving with our family, what a precious, new outlook on life we have.  This time last year, we didn't have the fears that we now have.  We didn't worry about pain levels or medicine or chemo trips or scans.  I hope you and your family have a wonderful day spent together thanking Him for his mercy and grace.

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good; his love endures forever."  Psalm 107:1

all hooked up...

Hey faithful followers!  Sorry for not posting any sooner.  Life has been crazy and busy and hectic.

Mom went to her regular family doctor here at home today to find out that she is dehydrated and has a sinus infection.   That's got her ears head all stopped up.  So tonight, she gets to have a slumber party at the hospital in Troy.  Here she is already hooked up and conked out.

Keep those prayers coming her way.  If it's not one thing, it's another.  She's got to hurry up and get better because she is going to be a GRANDMOTHER!!!  Tullie and Sami Jo are expecting a little blessing in June!  We She's very very excited to meet this little one.  Every stick, shot, cup full of medicine, treatment, and nauseousness has been followed by, "gotta do this for the baby." 

Keep the comments and words of encouragement up on the blog.  She loves reading each and every one. 

Love ya'll...be back tomorrow for another update!

cancer is a PAIN...

She has been in constant pain for years.  YEARS people.  She complained of her arm hurting long before she was re-diagnosed in December.  Constant pain.  So severe pain, that the strongest medicines only ease the pain.  Even on her "good" days, her pain level, at best, is a 3 or 4. 


She headed to Birmingham this week for her weekly dose of chemo.  She also had appointments with her pain doctors.  Here's a recap from dad from earlier this week...

 We are trying to set up an appointment with another pain team for the end of this week or next week when we go back for chemo.  Doctors are talking about doing injections, a spinal block, using pain patches, trying a different combination of drugs, or a combination of of the above. 


I can't imagine how she must feel.  Pray she gets relief soon.  They weren't able to get appointments this week, so it will be next week before anything is decided. 

OH, happy day!

Years ago when my Grandma Christine Stone was living, we would often hear her say, "Happy Day!"  Whether she was cheating playing in a good game of rummikub or celebrating a birthday, we would often hear her shouting those sweet words.  I would give anything to hear her say it just one more time.  I know she was dancing on the streets of gold in Heaven with two good knees shouting "Happy Day!" Tuesday afternoon when we learned the results of mother's scans. 

Mom started her day with a good dose of poison chemo.  Once she finished with that, it was on for yet another biopsy.  I've held her hand and watched the procedure done twice now.  Woah.  Something I will never forget.  I pray that none of you have to ever experience a core biopsy.  She is SO tough, and gets tougher with each stick.

After that, we headed down to Dr. Carpenter's office.  There we heard the words that we have been wanting to hear since she was re-diagnosed in December, the cancer is SHRINKING!!!!!  Our eyes welled up with tears and prayers of gratitude began the very instant the words were spoken.  All the trips to Birmingham, the pain, the uncomfortableness, the tears, the fear, the worry, etc, etc, etc, has been worth it!  Ohhhh, praise Him!

We learned that her scans looked good.  Good, but not gone.  The largest tumor in her arm has began shrinking.  Little spots in her abdomen have completely vanished!  But the pain is still very evident.  Dr. Carpenter thinks there is something else that is causing her so much pain, something else besides the cancer.  She is getting appointments with other doctors at the clinic to try and find out why she is in so much pain.  After a few more minutes of talking and answering questions, he examined her, and then we were on our merry way. 

We were tired.  Physically and emotionally.  Mom was in pain, quite a bit of pain, but that didn't stop her from smiling.  It was such a perfect day, and one that I will always remember.


We are and will be forever grateful and touched for all that YOU do.  Without the encouragement, love, and most importantly, prayers, we could have never made it this far.  Just when we think we are at the lowest of low's, you brighten us and love on us.  We thank you and ask you to continue to pray for mother.  She is showing signs of destroying the tumors, but still has a very, very long way to go. 

it's here...

One of the days we have been anxiously awaiting is finally here!  Mom and dad leave tomorrow for Birmingham.  She has her scan tomorrow afternoon, and meets with her oncologist on Tuesday to find out if/how much the treatment she has been taking is working or not.  

Pray us up people, especially her.  To say we are nervous, scared, excited, fearful of Tuesday is an understatement.  We also know how powerful prayer is.

Be back Tuesday with news. 

xoxo,
c

Champions of Hope

Same song.  Different verse.  That's how we all feel.

Still pain.  Still nausea.  Still an achy body.  Still sleeps for days at a time.

That pretty sums up how her days have been since the last post.



Saturday morning was not the norm.  She made herself get up.  She forced a smile, when really all she wanted to do was throw up.  She went.  She cheered.  She prayed.  She cried.

Saturday was the Champions of Hope Breast Cancer 5K in Dothan.  Since she didn't feel well enough to make the Ozark walk, she was determined to attend this one.  It was the perfect day to celebrate such brave, incredible women.  Even though she was hurting and didn't feel good, she toughed it out at stayed until we all finished.  It warmed my heart so much to see her sitting there, cheering us on like she didn't have a hurt in the world.

It was such a fun morning.  Seeing lots thousands of people decked out in their pink.  Overhearing lots of best friends/sisters/daughters/family talking about their loved one who was fighting or had won the battle.  Catching up with friends.  Having some of THE best friends a girl could have walking/running beside me in my mother's honor.  The encouragement.  The support.  The love.

It was a good morning.  Wish it came more than just one time out of the year.  For those few hours, to see mother out of bed, in the sunshine, made me the happiest girl in the world.

THANK you

Once again, I find myself writing a thank you post.  This time, our hearts and our bellys are full!  Thank you, THANK YOU, thank you is in order for mom and dad's Sunday school class!!  They organized a spaghetti feast for our church this past Sunday.  Plates were sold on mom's behalf.  My only regret is that mom was not able to attend.  I guess chemo is getting the best of her these days.  Thank you so much to anyone and everyone that helped make this possible.  Everyone, from the Sunday school class to the church congregation, you have blessed us beyond measure.  It is exhausting, both physically and emotionally, traveling to Birmingham each week.  The driving, the waiting, the taking care of a sick one, is almost too much to handle at times.  Thank you for showering us with blessings this week.  We love you!



In other news, mom received her weekly chemo this week.  She was there allll day again today, but did outstanding.  They are back at the room, and she is snoozing away.  She also had a chest X-Ray done this morning.  She has gotten to where she will lose her breath and it takes a second for her to catch it.  It scares her, and hurts her chest, so they scheduled this test for good measure.  We weren't sure if this had something to do with the cancer moving to her lungs. We are thanking our lucky stars tonight that it was clear! 


It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!  Be committed this whole month to pray for breast cancer research, doctors, patients, and those who have lost the battle.  I challenge you...will you do it?

4 more...

Mom and dad went to Birmingham Monday afternoon to get ready for her treatment on Tuesday morning.  This week, she had to wait for forever to get called back.  She normally gets called back around 10ish, give or take.  It was well after 4 in the afternoon before she finally heard her name called to go back.  Talk about a long day!

They are still in Birmingham.  Here is an update from Dad tonight:

Peggy was very weak after her chemo treatment yesterday.  The weakness continued into today, as well as nausea.  We finally got the nausea under control with the help of her medicines.  She also experienced the flu like symptoms today, where her body hurts and aches all over.  I decided at about 12:30 p.m. today just to keep her here in Birmingham tonight.  She has slept very hard today.  I hope she has the strength to head home tomorrow. 

Heard this song again tonight on the radio...



The part that says, She said, I don't think I can do this anymore... He took her in his arms and said that's what I'm here for...is the true epitome of my daddy.  Really do think Martina wrote this song about them.  He has to be strong when the one he loves most, is at her worst.  He really is one in a million.  We are two lucky, lucky girls.  What he would give, I'm sure, to take away all her pain. 

They also found out this week at treatment, that she only has 4 more treatments left until they do another scan to see how her cancer is (hopefully) disappearing and shrinking.  We are all super nervous and are anxiously awaiting to finally hear some good news. 

As always, keep her in your prayers.

xoxo,
c

walk it out...

Can't think of a better way to spend a Saturday morning...

Click here for October 8th
Don't think there is an "official" site for this event, but I think that is everything you need to know about the walk.  We want to have a BIG team for this one!!  We are praying that this will be a "good" day for her...the plan is to take turns pushing her in her wheelchair.  Hope all of you local prayer warriors will be able to walk with us!


Click here for October 15th
This is a big one held in Dothan.  If you don't already have plans for the morning, walk with us to find a cure! 


Quick update on mom:
Nothing new really.  Most of her days, usually all but 1.5 or 2 out of the week, are spent in bed.  Spent in bed really means spent in bed all day, usually only waking to take pills.  Her"good" days have been happening less and less.  This makes us even more grateful for those days, and try to fill them slam packed with fun.  Symptoms include pain still, head still hurting from losing her hair,  and lots and lots of bad dreams from all of the pain medicine.  

momma's got a new "do"...

For any of you who really know my mom, you know that she is the epitome of a true southern lady.  She can and will throw the best birthday, Christmas, or 4th of July party that you have EVER seen.  She opened our home to many bible studies and taught me how to truly be an example of His love.  She can cook, clean, and write a thank you note all at the same time.  She is always very put together and always makes everything that she does look effortless.  If anyone can pull off this new "do", trust me, it's her!!

getting started...

 

she put Tull in charge of shaving since he's done it once or twice...

no turnin' back now...

 when your hair starts falling out, it's very painful.  so painful it will bring you to tears.  the top of her head is where it hurt the most.

 team effort...

almost all gone and still all smiles...

ha, couldn't resist...she's such a good sport!

good to know best friends will always be there to hold your hand when you need it the most...

She's so tough, but has had a few "moments" since losing her locks.  We knew this was going to happen, but knowing it and actually having to do it are two different things.  Your prayers help get us through these difficult, difficult days.

little fuzzy but love you...so much...through thick and thin

chemo in pictures

Here are some pictures from last week of mother receiving her chemo.  I stayed as long as I could in the blue room with her, until I had to leave.  (Visitors can only stay so long, before the nurses ask you to leave.  They want it completely quiet and relaxing for the patients.)  Before we left, she got such a WONDERFUL, thoughtful gift.  If you are interested in getting a pink ribbon "Praying for Peggy" door sign, contact Lessie Windham on Facebook or email at adoorabledesigns.studio@gmail.com.  SUPER, super cute!  Thank you Lessie, Julia, and Sherri for your thoughtfulness and creativity!  Wish I would have snapped a picture of her excitement.

Here we go with chemo...

 

It's hurry up and wait when she goes.  First there is lab work, then she has to wait to get called back.  Resting, before going back.

 

There are TV's in the back.  We were watching the highlights of Kim Kardashian's wedding on The View :)

Getting ready, hooking up her port to the IV

Her nurse for the day

Almost go time...

That's the last one I got, before I got kicked out.  She came out smiling and ready to go home.

Since her treatment and getting back home, she has been doing a lot of this...

Sleeping with her favorite pals and...

hurting.

The pain in her arm has started back hurting this week.  Last week, it was very minimal.  However, this has been a different week.  She has also started being nauseated and sick on days.  We are told her hair should start falling out any day.

She leaves tomorrow for Birmingham, again.  Her treatment will be on Tuesday morning. 

chemo, day 3

Here's an update from dad, sent earlier today...

I rubbed her arms down in Bengay, especially around her elbows, then packed them with ice, gave her her pain medication, and held her until she went to sleep last night.  The pain must have eased up, because she slept all night.  That is uncommon.  It's 11 am, and I have not woke her yet.  She is really sleeping good.  She has to be back at the clinic at 1 pm today.  She wanted to try something new for pain, but Dr. Carpenter wants her to wait for at least a month and see if the chemotherapy has reproved some of the pain.  He's thinking it will!  You know you are in some kind of pain when you ask to have your arm amputated, just trying to find some kind of relief!!!  She also asked this question in Houston, but the doctors said it wouldn't help.


We just got back from labs.  It's 2:45.  I got her to eat half a sandwich when we left the clinic.  She has just laid back down, feeling exhausted and ready to go home.  She is taking ibuprofen for the flu like symptoms.

I talked with them a few minutes ago.  She is still sleeping.

Praying tonight, for another full nights rest.

chemo, day 2

It's short and simple tonight.

Dad's text tonight:

We got her port fixed this morning.  She gave blood and did labs.  She has been feeling sick today, but has not thrown up.  Her arm is hurting really bad.  I have put Bengay and ice packs on it for her.  She has also had flu like symptoms today and her body has ached all over.  That's to be expected though.  It's a side effect of one of the flavors of chemo she is receiving.  She was also really emotional today.  She did not eat a lot, and still does not like the blue room.  CANCER HURTS...I see it everyday!

be still...

and know that I am God.  Psalm 46:10


If tonight is any indication of how the next 6 plus months will be, we have an even longer road ahead of us than we thought.

In the words of dad:
It was a long day.  She had two flavors of chemo today.  I think it hit her around 6pm.  She started getting real weak and a little sick.    We got back from the clinic around 6:30 tonight, and she has been in bed ever since.  She hasn't moved, and she is very tired, physically and emotionally.  When she finished her treatment today after lunch, we had to stay and have blood draws every half hour, until 6.  Her port did not work for the last blood draw.  We do not have to be back for more draws until 11 tomorrow morning.

We all remember very vividly the horrible nausea and sickness that followed her treatments last go round.  Our prayer tonight is that the sickness doesn't follow her this time.  Please pray this prayer with us.

This is a pic dad snapped and sent to me before she got her treatment this morning.  She was up early and in the good word before going back.  Sorry for the quality.

That's all I've got tonight.  Please pray for her.  And whatever storm you may be facing, just take a second to be still, and know that He is there and listening.

what's not to love...

Wow!  The kindness and love that you people have shown and continue to show us everyday is truly amazing!  Everyday we are blessed by your kindness.  Our hearts are forever thankful for everything that has been done for us!

Take a look at this...

In the words of Mrs. Vicki Underwood:
 Announcing a very special fundraiser; for a very special family. Selling Pink Ribbon Scarfs and Stretch Rings...Please let me know how many you would like to purchase.  To order, contact me, Vicki Underwood at 334-790-1728 or Nita McGhee at 334-790-2560.   We are both on Facebook if you would rather message us your order.  All proceeds will be donated to Mrs. Peggy Culverhouse. Please share with friends. IICorinthians 6-8 "He who sows with blessings will also reap, with blessings" Share the Love.


Quick update:
She has been in Birmingham all week.  She has had a lot of appointments and tests getting her ready for treatment.  She is going to start chemo on Tuesday.  We found out yesterday that she is going to receive both drugs when she starts chemo.  This is great news!!!  She has a long road to go, but we are excited to see how the tumors react to this experimental drug.  


As always, please keep her in your prayers.  She is not excited about having to take chemo.


She will have to stay in Birmingham all next week too and go everyday for tests.  




Love ya'll.  Update again Tuesday, if not before.

faith is the substance...

of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.
Hebrews 11:1



That's moms favorite bible verse and what she told me after our news today. She never ceases to amaze me.

We met with a team of 6 doctors today, and the news was gut wrenching. Of the 6 doctors, 2 were surgeons who totally ruled out surgery. The cancer is in too many places. It would be impossible to get all the tumors. Also the surgery may end up causing her more pain, if that's possible, than she's in all ready.

Then came this news.

Her cancer has spread. Again. How could this be?

It has spread to a spot in between her ribs. It has also spread to both sides of her lungs.

Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.

We have all decided that she needs to start treatment immediately. She will have a biopsy on Wednesday in Birmingham to start the ball rolling on the clinical trial there.




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nothing new...

After a day of waiting and appointments, we still don't really know anything. Her doctor reassured us that her cancer has spread to her lymph nodes, and that there are some questionable spots in her chest wall, along with the large tumor.

Our options are clinical trial here in Houston or clinical trial in Birmingham. Two different drugs, both with very different side effects, both are very good. Doctors can't tell us the best one to choose.

It's a very, very hard decision. We are frustrated. The pain is still very much with her. We thought we would have definite answers today.

We meet with a team of doctors tomorrow afternoon. Hope we will have clarity after that.

Sorry if we haven't responded to your text or phone call. It's not that we don't appreciate it or love you. Mother was at a 10 going in to her appointment and now she's at about a 2. Pray for her tonight.

Love y'all.

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you girls ROCK!!

Thank you Mt. Zion Wednesday night girls for making mother's day!  I talked to her after you all left, and wish I could share the excitement and gratitude in her voice.  Haven't heard that in a long time.  I could even tell she was smiling, which made my heart soo happy!  Some days, she hurts so bad, that nothing is worth smiling for.  Thank you for reaching out to the shut-in and sick with your ministry.   What a powerful ministry you have started.   She wanted me to thank you for your prayers, laughs, love, and encouraging words.  We love you!!!! 

His plan, not ours...

God's plan is perfect.  Not mine.  What I think is best, doesn't always align with His.  

"Understanding will never bring peace.  

That's why I have instructed you to Trust in Me, not your understanding." 

We're back home.

I wish so badly that I didn't have to type these words tonight.  Today several people have asked about mother, and I lied.  I lied when I told you we didn't know anything from her tests.  I'm sorry.  I'm still having a hard time with it.  A hard time believing that this is really happening.   I just couldn't say a tiny 6 letter word to you.  It's easier to type it, than to have to say it out loud.

Hear goes... 

Mother's cancer has spread to her lymphnodes near her neck.

I'm not asking you for your sympathy tonight.  Truthfully, there is nothing that you can say or do that will take the fear away from us.  I just ask you to pray.

Heard this song too during my mission trip.  It also came on the radio tonight during my drive home. 



Thank you Lord for subtle reminders.

day 3...

Not too much from Houston tonight.  Today mother had two biopsies, x-rays, and lab work done.  The only really painful part of her day were the biopsies.  We didn't see Dr. Brown today...she won't see him again until the 17th.  Tomorrow will be full of scans.  Fingers crossed, we will probably get to come home this weekend, and then travel back on the 17th to learn the results of all the tests.  A lot of hurry up and waiting today.  I'm sure tomorrow will be the same way.  That's all for tonight...here are a few pictures from today.  Thank you for your encouragement and prayers!!

this is where we spent the majority of the day...

riding the shuttle INSIDE the hospital...told yall it was HUGE!!

telling me about her biopsy...think her face says it all...

happy to be done for the day...

Praying these tests prove the doctor wrong about her cancer spreading.  Be back tomorrow!

days 1 and 2...

Day 1

We made it to Houston, almost pain free.  Here's a look at our day...

Our Plane, which picked us up in Ozark

We are blessed.  Sweet friends and family helped see us off...

Nana, waiting patiently...

"see ya later" is sometimes hard...

 

uncle chuck checking things over to make sure things were just right before we left...

on the plane...mom napping, and dad and I talking to the pilot...

our WONDERFUL pilots...

hurting during the landing...

Finally got her pain under control once we got to the hotel.  That's pretty  much all from day 1.

Day 2

Today she had 3 appointments.  Her last one we met with her doctor, Dr. Brown.  After examining her,  and finding that her neck is swollen, he feels as though her cancer has spread to her lymphnodes in her neck.  He wants to do more tests to see if this is correct.  So now she is scheduled for more biopsies, ultrasounds, and CAT scans.  Not sure when those will be yet...should find out tomorrow.  He wants to know for sure whether her cancer has spread or not before coming up with a game plan. 

Please pray that this doctor is wrong.  Even if she gets all of her tests scheduled for this week, we still will not know the results until 2 weeks from today.  It's going to be hard to wait...again...

Definitely not the news we were expecting today.